Emotional independence through detachment from external circumstances

A few weeks ago I had a very interesting exchange with one of my friends.

It was one of those conversations that occupied me for days and unexpectedly taught me a great deal.

The kind of conversation you can only have with very specific favorite people.

Because you'd only get a frown from most other people, who wouldn't have a clue what you're talking about. These kinds of conversations are my favorite, so I'd like to share my thoughts with you. I hope you find them thought-provoking.

This conversation began with a question that I would now like to ask you:

If you had the choice to rewrite your past in a positive way, you could have a happy, carefree childhood and a loving, supportive environment, rather than the circumstances you actually had.

And all traumatic events would disappear faster than my new favorite snack (Twix Popcorn 🤤) from its bag.

Would you do it?

Take a few minutes to think about it and come to your own decision before you read on!

How and why would you decide?

My friend's answer was yes.

After all, everyone wants a happy life, free of major dramas and extreme challenges? Who would be crazy enough not to accept that?

At first, it made a lot of sense and I immediately wanted to agree.

Ultimately, I cursed my life more than once, wishing for much more responsible parents. I was often envious of acquaintances who never had to deal with financial worries or who had a great relationship with their siblings.

I've asked myself often enough – WHY ME, UNIVERSE? 😫

Is there no one else you can annoy? 🤔

The value of emotional independence:

How to grow through difficult times

But pretty quickly I went “down the rabbit hole” and started to ask myself:

What kind of person would I have become if everything had "fallen into my lap"? Of course, none of us are problem-free, and everyone has to overcome challenges in life. But how would I have turned out if my family hadn't been "completely crazy," as a dear friend of mine once put it?

I could actually imagine that I wouldn't have particularly liked or respected this parallel world of Simone.

I probably wouldn't have gained many of these valuable skills and insights if I hadn't had to go through tough times :

• Great resilience to handle difficult situations appropriately. Ultimately, this is only earned by facing challenges and learning and growing from them.

• How satisfied and proud I feel because I have earned something through my own efforts, for example, financing a year abroad with my job alongside my studies.

• The resilience that lies within me. How often I'm able to get back up and continue on my path, especially when things get really tough.

• Creativity and inventiveness that can arise because I had no other choice.

• Realization of the wonderful things I already possess and that true happiness does not come from outside, but from my inner world.

• Would definitely still be a people pleaser who always wants to please everyone else and adapt in order to be loved.

• To reflect on myself, to develop further, to break out of my comfort zone and to set my own rules for my life.

• I wouldn't be able to share all these valuable life experiences and learnings with you and others and thus pursue my true calling.

Above all, I would never have learned what it means to take true responsibility for my own life and achieve emotional independence!

All my experiences have made me the person I am today, have shaped me, toughened me, and prepared me for my future.

How was it for you? What have you learned from difficult times so far?

I would like to give you some food for thought here:

Where you start in life is actually completely irrelevant, regardless of whether you had excellent starting points or were rather humble. Life will always throw challenges at you, sooner or later; we have to learn our lessons anyway.

Ultimately, you alone decide where you will be at the end of your life. What goals and dreams you have achieved, what you can look back on with pride, what gifts you have given to others/society, and what will remain of you at the end.

The outcome of your life is determined by countless small and large active decisions that can lead you in the right or wrong direction. Are your current decisions helping you achieve your desired goal?

External circumstances or people will only hold you back if you allow them to! If you give them the power to influence your life.

How often have you been annoyed that life is unfair and wished the world could adapt a little to you? Instead of constantly questioning yourself and having to change.

While I can understand these thoughts (been there, done that!), they're a total waste of your time and energy. Because, on the one hand, it will never happen, and, on the other, you're making yourself completely dependent on external circumstances.

You are never truly free as long as you hand over your responsibility and decisions to other people and hope that they know better.

No one is coming to save you or make you more comfortable.

You have to do the work yourself if you want to live a life that truly fits your personality and your needs, and doesn't involve just going with the flow. Let me tell you something: Many people who constantly adapt and always fulfill expectations aren't particularly happy.

How else can we explain the extremely high rates of depression, burnout, etc.?

A personal example from me:

For a long time I used the excuse that I couldn't achieve XYZ because I didn't receive as much attention and support from my parents as I needed as a child.

But does what happened 20 years ago really matter for life TODAY?

Little by little, I began to understand that I was no longer a child, but a grown woman who now took responsibility for herself.

Today, I'm no longer dependent on my parents (or anyone else); I don't need their advice, their approval, or their support. Of course, it's nice and easier when I have them, but I don't make my happiness dependent on them.

I think it's time to stop constantly looking at life through the rearview mirror and mourning the things that didn't go the way we hoped.

But to live it in the only possible way: forward-looking!

You, too, always have your happiness in your own hands! ❤️

No one is forcing you to stay in an unhappy relationship or settle for a job you don't enjoy. If you have problems with your health, your leisure activities, or your relationships, make different choices.

You ALWAYS have the choice of who you want to be.

You only have one life and who knows how much more time we will be given.

Do you want to let your past define you and limit you throughout your life, or do you want to make the best of what you have been given?

Your decision😉

If no one has told you today:

You are valuable and deserve all the love ❤️

You don't need to be fixed because you're not broken!

I believe in you and your unlimited potential ❤️